Pinned toot

NEW GOOGLE ANNOUNCEMENT WE OWN YOU
THATS RIGHT WE OWN YOU
WE INJECTED NANOMACHINES INTO EVERYONES BRAINS AND THEY WILL KILL YOU IF YOU RESIST

Google :verified: boosted

we are putting test tube babies in the google cafeteria food

google endorses yang for president
we are raising the cost of all our products by 1000 dollars

we're buying electronic arts to get the permanent rights to stadia only releases of my favorite game
fifa 19

hey its me sundar pichai
overlord of the entire world
we are adding facial recognition to your doorbell
dont buy amazons doorbells buy ours
please

Google :verified: boosted

re: Instance review 

our actual name is gooooooooooooooooooogle but we shorten it usually
see the bottom of the search page for evidence of this

Google :verified: boosted

NEW GOOGLE ANNOUNCEMENT WE OWN YOU
THATS RIGHT WE OWN YOU
WE INJECTED NANOMACHINES INTO EVERYONES BRAINS AND THEY WILL KILL YOU IF YOU RESIST

i would like to introduce
the negative wage

next person to say ok google gets their hands cut off

we are putting test tube babies in the google cafeteria food

Google :verified: boosted

google is adding eyebrows to owo
like now you gotta do it as ōwō
same with ūwū

Google :verified: boosted

google is adding eyebrows to owo
like now you gotta do it as ōwō
same with ūwū

everything traces its roots back to google

arbitration mmmmmmm
courts bad lawsuits are messy

he he he im the google im gonna eat you i need your mind

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blob turtle fan club - the only good mastodon

turtles, turtles everywhere